Alec Laine

This is somthing I just started. I have a rough idea where I going with this, but I need it to be error-free first! Please help :D I'll help you ...

“ Get down, ” came Nigel’s shout. If he's shouting, I would use an exclamation mark. The metal barrel sucked the warmth from his hands . Again, a beautiful description ...

“ Come in my car ,” said Michael as he turned the key. Maybe it's just me, but I instantly turn this into a sexual reference. It might have to ...

He was standing on one of the top levels of a multi-level car park, How many top levels does this car park have? “ But the question is, do you ...

Nigel sighed, and looked at the floor. “When I was twenty – back in 2012 – remember I left for a couple of months on a business tour in America.” ...

“Then night of long knives,” said Nigel. Michael recognised that phrase from his assignment research; the assassination of Hitler’s political rivals in 1934. I'm not sure, but shouldn't it be ...

But like everything else some stuff was meant to fail. I would change "stuff was" to "things were", it would sound more dramatic. Every scientist was assigned a part of ...

It was as if the heavens just opened up and let all the tears I'd been holding back fall down There was an "as" missing. (boy, that sounds wrong when ...

Jens leapt over Vader with agility, pushing the dust into the air and with a scream focused on his opponent. It was as if there was nothing else but he ...

Finally, a silvery fish hangs bouncing on the line. The old man drops the rod and snatches at his chest. His eyes are still wide, and he coughs again. Down ...

I really liked how you described the crying. Tears were still trickling down my face, when my mom opened her mouth and questioned “ sweetheart, what did you just say? ...